let's be honest

I have not been good about writing on my blog.
It's true. 
But let's be honest: life has been insane lately.

I've been challenged (by a few different people) to not only write on my blog more, but to really tell my story.  To give the unedited version of my life.  My initial response was to laugh.  I thought, "Umm...no.  That would be no fun to write nor read about."

But really what I was thinking was, "That is scary.  Be completely honest with what has been going on in my life?  No.  That's too close to my heart.  An area that is still too raw to talk about.  Maybe down the road I can share what has been going on.  Maybe I'll heal from this and then I can talk about it."

What I realized is this:

telling your story is part of healing.
When I think I am protecting myself by not confronting what is going on, I am doing myself a disservice.  I have to talk.  I have to work through things.  I have to let people in so that I can let all this out.

I love it when people are completely honest with me.  I encourage it.  I in fact ask people to be 100% straight forward with me.  However, I realized I don't always return the favor.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going around lying to you all.  Haha, that's not what I mean at all.  What I'm saying is that I realized I have become very good at giving generalized answers.  I'm basically pro at giving a vague answer that does not require me sharing my feelings about what's going on.  I stick with the facts and move along.

But that really doesn't help at all.  Granted, I'm not going to pour out my soul to every person who asks about my day.  That would just be awkward.  But, in the end, we all have emotions.  We all have feelings.  We all have our junk, our hurts, our joys, our fears, and our loves.  And they need to be shared.  That's why we have each other- why we have community, family, and friends. 

Alright, so let's all join hands and talk about our feelings, okay?  Haha just kidding.  That sounds awful.  But in all honesty, this is where I'm at.  This is where I'm going: being honest.  Opening up.  Healing up.  And maybe, in a way, giving up.  Giving up my weird ideas that being open and close with people is scary. 

Sheesh, okay.  That's all the honesty I've got for the night.  More to come, folks, more to come :)