love that's better than life

O God, you are my God;

I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you;

my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land

where this is no water.

I have seen you in your sanctuary

and gazed upon your power and glory

Your unfailing love is better than life itself;

how I praise you!

I will praise you as long as I live,

lifting up my hands to you in prayer.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast.

I will praise you with songs of joy.

I lie awake thinking of you,

meditating on you through the night.

Because you are my helper,

I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.

I cling to you;

your strong right hand holds me securely.

--Psalm 63:1-8

Valentine's Day can be a challenging holiday for numerous reasons.  It can bring up memories of happier days that are no longer here.  It can remind you that you want to be in a relationship when you are 100% single.  It can make you compare the love you get to the love that others get - only to figure out you got the short end of the stick.  It can leave you longing.  Leave you feeling lonely.  Sad.  Maybe even unloved.

Even for people in a relationship, I think the holiday, as a whole, makes you ask the question, "Who do I love?  And who loves me?"  

I found myself so deeply sad this Valentine's Day.  I knew I wasn't going to get that bouquet of roses and cute little note from my dad that says, "To my Special Girl, I love you!  Will you be my Valentine?"  And my heart longed for it.  With all that was in me I wanted to reverse time and re-live my last Valentine's Day with him.  Hug him a little tighter.  Smell those flowers.  Kiss him on the cheek, and tell him I loved him.

That was replaced by other loves this year.  I was so blessed by a early morning walk and new mug from one of my besties, a single rose from my sissy in law and brother, a bag of goodies from my mom and a big bouquet of flowers from my lil bro.  Shoot, I even got a Valentine chocolate from my yoga instructor!  It wasn't like all the years past, and I missed my dad like crazy, but I noticed how much love I DO have.  So much love from family, friends and my super sweet God.

I realized two things:

1. GOD + LOVE.  Love needs to come and go, first and foremost, to/from God.  I really believe that if we can be content in God's love, we can be content with anything life throws at us.  Enjoy being saturated in His love.  Have a longing heart for HIM and He will satisfy.  Cling to your love and He will hold you securely.  

2. ME + LOVE.  I need to love myself AND THEN love my neighbor.  Once again, it is great to be a servant and love up on people, but if you're neglecting yourself, what's the point?  If you can't take care of yourself, you shouldn't be taking care of other people.  Love yourself!  Take some time and do something that makes you happy.  Go buy yourself some roses.  Set up that doctors appointment you've been putting off.  Make time to exercise (you know you'll feel better afterwards!).  Shoot, get some new shoes or clothes if you need it!  Stop trying to be a servant to everyone while neglecting yourself.  

You deserve some lovin'. 

Let God fill you up.

Love up on yourself.

And then maybe you can give some of that reserve lovin' to the vast amount of people that love you.

this was my present to myself: cute nails!  It makes me happy.  To see the adorbs tutorial, click HERE.